Thank you for the read. For me, the decision to break up with alcohol, was a proud choice. Anyway, no BODY is designed to ingest alcohol as it is literally poison. So the decision to stay broken up was easy, once I realized that the relationship was a fail and there were many other fish in the sea that could and would get me the same results alcohol did without the negative consequences. Drugs of misuse are all painkillers, or at the very least pain-distractors. What is it about me and my life that needs the benefit of pain distracting or killing? Why would I not want to be myself for a few hours? Once I discovered the real protaganist in the realtionship I was really empowered to not just stop but stay stopped.