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My Personal Journey: Reflecting on Addiction, Recovery, and the Winding Road of Abstinence
One size does not fit all when it comes to healing addiction
My journey with alcohol and other drugs has been a winding one. I spent many years caught in a cycle of problematic use, unsuccessfully trying to moderate my consumption. Eventually, as legacy of mutual aid support groups, I decided to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. I worked through the 12 steps and had a period of abstinence for many years. When I finally took a drink again, I never expected the worst — a full blown recurrence of symptoms. Not to my surprise, I found I could have one or two drinks on occasion without experiencing jails, institutions and death.
This experience made me question the conventional wisdom of “once an addict, always an addict.” If I could “suddenly” drink in moderation after 16 years of experiencing addiction and many years of recovery, had I really changed my brain and relationship with alcohol? Or does addiction perhaps look different for each individual? My personal experience sparked my interest in exploring the science, diverse perspectives, and gray areas around addiction, recovery, and what a winding road to optimal health and wellness can look like.
