A 30-Day Emotional Support Plan for Friends of Families Experiencing Loss
A Compassionate Approach to Supporting Bereaved Families”
Introduction
The loss of a loved one, particularly a child, is one of the most profound trials a family can face. When that loss results from suicide, the experience can be even more complex and heartbreaking, riddled with questions, guilt, anger, and profound sadness. As friends of the grieving family, you might feel helpless and unsure about how to offer your support. This 30-day plan is designed to provide guidance on how to navigate these difficult times, supporting the family in their journey of healing and remembrance.
Week 1: Presence and Acknowledgement
Day 1–2: Upon hearing the news, reach out to the family to express your condolences and to let them know they’re in your thoughts. Send a heartfelt message or make a phone call; if you’re unsure what to say, know that honesty and empathy go a long way.
Example of a message you can send:
Dear [Family’s Name],
I am deeply saddened by the news of [Child’s Name]’s passing. Please accept my sincerest condolences. I remember [Child’s Name] for [mention a positive attribute or memory], and those memories will always be cherished. Know that I am here for you during this difficult time. You’re not alone.
With heartfelt sympathy,
[Your Name]
Day 3–4: Offer practical support. Bring meals, help with housework, or run errands. The family may be overwhelmed with grief, making day-to-day tasks challenging. Your assistance can provide them with some relief.
Day 5–7: Attend the funeral or memorial service if invited. This is a crucial time to show your support and honor the memory of the child. Be sure to respect the family’s wishes regarding attendance and participation.
Week 2: Active Support and Empathy
Day 8–10: Continue offering practical help, but also begin to make space for emotional support. Be available to listen without judgment or the need to offer solutions. Their feelings of grief, anger, guilt, and confusion are all valid.
Day 11–14: Encourage the family to seek professional support if they haven’t already. A counselor or grief support group can provide invaluable help during this time. If needed, assist them in finding resources.
Week 3: Remembering and Personalizing Support
Day 15–17: Suggest ways to honor the memory of their child. This could be a memorial scholarship, a charity run, or planting a tree in their honor. However, ensure this aligns with the family’s comfort level and readiness.
Day 18–21: Be aware of personal and significant dates for the family (like the child’s birthday). A thoughtful message or simple gesture on these days can mean a lot.
Week 4: Consistency and Long-term Support
Day 22–24: Continue to check in with the family. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and the pain may persist for a long time. Your continued support is essential.
Day 25–27: Encourage self-care. Grieving parents may neglect their own needs. Encourage them to eat healthily, get sufficient rest, and engage in activities they enjoy.
Day 28–30: Reaffirm your support and remind them that there is no timeline for their grief. Offer to help them memorialize their child in a way that feels right for them. This could include compiling photos, creating a memory book, or simply sharing fond memories of their child.
Moving forward, remember that grief is a long-term process, and the family will need ongoing support. Stay patient, understanding, and compassionate.
Conclusion
The journey of grief is highly personal and unique for every individual and family. This 30-day plan is a guide, but it should be tailored to the specific needs and circumstances of the grieving family. The key lies in consistent and sensitive support, providing a compassionate and patient presence that reinforces to the grieving family that they are not alone.
Resource:
- The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. (n.d.). Supporting someone who has lost a loved one to suicide. https://afsp.org/story/supporting-someone-lost-loved-one-suicide/
This online resource from The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention provides guidance on supporting individuals who have lost a loved one to suicide. It offers insights into the unique aspects of grief after suicide and suggests ways to provide effective support.
